Relationships are interesting in sobriety...it took me a long time to figure out the difference between love and wanting to self medicate through relationships. I am currently separated from my husband and am feeling some pretty strong feelings of sadness and loss. In my past relationships I would move on to the next ego fix not realizing that until I could see my patterns...I couldn't change them. Relationships are a mirror and have always shown me exactly where I am...I just choose not to look. The difference this time...is that I am not running,I am sitting with myself and going within to heal the broken pieces. No one ever wants to be uncomfortable...but it is in that pain that true freedom occurs...and a better understanding of past choices. Until we learn to forgive ourselves and seek a higher ground...then it seems we always go back to what we know..trying to fix it. I am learning to be alone...and feel the power of that,to look to other women for support and guidance and to know that if I stay sober and continue to delve into my past I can change my present. I don't turn to a drink or a drug today....I turn within to a power greater than me and trust in the journey.
That in some way we could pay it forward and help people see the freedom in sobriety and that it isn't a disease that discriminates... but one that is treatable one day at a time. Sending all of you love and light and another day filled with hope courage and the capacity to give away what you have so freely been given. Sober is sexy... sprinkle that stuff everywhere! XO