Relationships are interesting in took me a long time to figure out the difference between love and wanting to self medicate through relationships. I am currently separated from my husband and am feeling some pretty strong feelings of sadness and loss. In my past relationships I would move on to the next ego fix not realizing that until I could see my patterns...I couldn't change them. Relationships are a mirror and have always shown me exactly where I am...I just choose not to look. The difference this that I am not running,I am sitting with myself and going within to heal the broken pieces. No one ever wants to be uncomfortable...but it is in that pain that true freedom occurs...and a better understanding of past choices. Until we learn to forgive ourselves and seek a higher ground...then it seems we always go back to what we know..trying to fix it. I am learning to be alone...and feel the power of that,to look to other women for support and guidance and to know that if I stay sober and continue to delve into my past I can change my present. I don't turn to a drink or a drug today....I turn within to a power greater than me and trust in the journey.


  • B.W. Boyce

    October 28, 2018

    Before my using, I was a very independent person in relationships. During my use, I walled my emotions off so I only wanted my needs met and then moved on. After eight years of prison with no relationships and staying clean I found the quickest way to my defects is through relationships. I’ll have 10 years clean on the 31st and still haven’t figured it all out. What I have figured out, is I don’t always love myself and when I’m in a relationship I forget to love myself and depend on the other person to determine my value. I also have learned that overlooking what the other person wants to do to recover only brings heartache. I must have a partner who is clean, sober, and can be loyal to me. Otherwise, I’ve just found a dope whore with a pretty package.

  • Jay S.

    October 21, 2018

    When I came in to the rooms again in 2012 I discovered I was co-dependant as well. Taking time to find myself and asking my HP to out a good woman in my life when he thought I was ready. He sent me an Angel who was able to crack and distroy the hardened shell aroumd my heart that I use to protect myself. She showed me love in no other way I could imagine. She showed me trust and support then 2 years later she crushed my heart but it was an experience I will never forget. She gave me the gift of honest love. The gift of opening up and being vulnerable. She gave me emotional sobriety. I still love her today and will always be greatful for God putting her in my life. I got one of the many gifts and this one is how Emotional Sobriety Gave Me The Gift Of Love… Stay strong and true to yourself.

  • nathaniel baptiste

    October 01, 2018

    At times I think it’ll be real important to see myself resorting to alcohol not truly realizing that after the effects of the booze wore off that I had everything that I could ever have at home with the woman I have children and there was an incident where I did make a regrettable mistake so I am still in a battle with my demons with this medicine but I know I can do it

  • Kris

    September 28, 2018

    I feel that ALL THE WAY!!!

  • Manolo

    July 12, 2018

    Sending you peace and love. I was married to an addict for a very long time but I didn’t really realize because she is “high functioning” but it started to spiral downward and I had to leave to save myself. I made the choice that my life is better without alcohol. It’s frightening at times to leave it all behind but each day I feel better physically and spiritually. Love your blog. Thank you for sharing your story.


  • Ann sweet

    June 09, 2018

    I love this blog
    I have learned in my recovery
    I need to feel to heal
    I always used to shut doors on people
    When things did not go my way
    I have also come to recognize my patterns
    Today l let my higher power HP
    Shut the doors and wait patiently for HP
    To open doors no matter how much l want a situation to happen
    My HP loves me that’s what is important to me today


  • Laura Shoemaker

    May 28, 2018
    I am recently realizing that most, no ALL of my relationships have been codependent, my part in it- on partners who were dependent on a substance of some sort my entire yes I resonate with you Haley when you say you’re just sitting in healing and Learning to be alone. Not alone in this sense of no support and friends but in alone in not having a relationship until you figure out your patterns. Therapy has helped me tremendously and these last two years and I’ve changed my entire life with the 12 steps programs and meetings and even if I can’t get to the meeting I listen to the The recovery show podcast. I feel much freer even though I had bouts of sadness, I feel empowered.. I listen to lots of Abraham Hicks, Bentino Massaro, and Dr. Joe Dispenza and I’ve been able to harness the law of attraction and I now choose my state of being in every moment and know that my past and even this moment are gone. I meditate every day because I can’t afford not to.. to focus on my future in detail and feel what I want to feel in my future so I can attract the same vibe! Thank you Haley for doing putting a voice to the subject been allowing us all to have a place that’s safe to be sexy and sober and commune ! I don’t know if you remember me I went by Laurie Shoemaker.. we hung out a few times-proud to have known you, would love to catch up sometime when you’re in New York. I’ve changed my life so much that I manifested my business partner who started Stila cosmetics in the 90s and now we’re launching a new product line.. a collagen chocolate bar- our company name is Molecular Zen check us out. Would love to see you at beauty con LA convention center 2018 in July… come meet us try our beauty bar best thing you’ve tasted yet in the energy bar world!

    Peace and love Laura

  • Lisa

    March 15, 2018

    Isn’t the title spelled wrong? REALTIONSHIPS…
    Should be >>Relationships<<

  • Todd

    February 10, 2018

    I’m struggling but I like your blog it gives me hope

  • Janie

    January 07, 2018

    DO NOT ORDER FROM THIS PLACE! Paid $87 and never received one item. Not even an e-mail telling me to stick it up my ass. Nothing! Scammer!

  • Ana

    December 27, 2017

    I’m so happy you’ve come to this point in your journey. Sending light from my heart to yours.

  • Janie

    December 06, 2017

    Needed to read this.

  • Mike Siegel

    September 30, 2017

    Brilliantly perceptive post. Just so hard to feel your own pain and understand that brings growth and transformation. Especially if you are empathic.I am going through it too.

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