REALTIONSHIPS IN SOBRIETY
Relationships are interesting in sobriety...it took me a long time to figure out the difference between love and wanting to self medicate through relationships. I am currently separated from my husband and am feeling some pretty strong feelings of sadness and loss. In my past relationships I would move on to the next ego fix not realizing that until I could see my patterns...I couldn't change them. Relationships are a mirror and have always shown me exactly where I am...I just choose not to look. The difference this time...is that I am not running,I am sitting with myself and going within to heal the broken pieces. No one ever wants to be uncomfortable...but it is in that pain that true freedom occurs...and a better understanding of past choices. Until we learn to forgive ourselves and seek a higher ground...then it seems we always go back to what we know..trying to fix it. I am learning to be alone...and feel the power of that,to look to other women for support and guidance and to know that if I stay sober and continue to delve into my past I can change my present. I don't turn to a drink or a drug today....I turn within to a power greater than me and trust in the journey.